Bean Goes to Quahog
by Funnyman Timmy
Summary: When everyone's favorite comedian goes to Quahog. things go haywire like crazy. Rated M for South Park scene, swearing, and death scenes. Last Apearance Thelma Griffin and Carter Pewterschmidt at least till the supposed sequel to Stewie Kills Lois ......
1. Chapter 1

**Note: Just like Peter Goes to Hollywood Flashbacks are in bold.**

(The show begins at a shot of a flat with a lime green 70s MK IV British Leyland Mini 1000 parked in the driveway. A caption at the bottom says London. The shot changes to a close-up of a teddy bear sitting on a bed.)

Bean: Teddy.

(The camera pulls out revealing Mr. Bean packing stuff in a suit case. He snaps the case shut and picks the case and Teddy up. We cut to Bean getting in his car and putting Teddy in the passengers' seat. He starts the car. Then pulls out a mini map and shows it to Teddy.)

Bean: Quahog.

(We cut to Bean driving through an English neighborhood. Then he drives straight into a portal to Quahog. As he begins acting like a complete idiot. We cut to the Griffins sitting on the sofa.)

Peter: This is gonna suck more than when I replaced Kenny McCormick on South Park.

**(Shows Peter dancing in a cut out animation background.)**

**Peter: (muffled(singing)) : I'm Kenny McCormick. I'm Kenny McCormick. I'm Kenny Mc……… (gets run over by a truck)**

**Stan: Oh my God you killed Peter!**

**Kyle: You Bastards!**

(special opening credits featuring a special crossover theme between The Mr. Bean Theme and Family Guy Theme.)


	2. Chapter 2

"_I do not own the characters of Family Guy. They are owned by Seth MacFarlane and FOX. I am just using them in this story. Mr. Bean is owned by BBC. I am just using him and Teddy"_

**Note: flashbacks are in bold**

(Peter is watching TV.)

Announcer on TV: Tomorrow on ABC Family: Mr. Bean's Holiday.

(La Mer plays)

(We cut to a street somewhere near Spooner Street. The portal Mr. Bean entered opens as Bean's car speeds out of it. Bean slows down and parks in front of the Griffins house. He grabs Teddy and the suitcase. He then walks up to the house and rings the door bell. Lois answers the door.)

Lois: Mr. Bean?

Peter: Bean? I haven't seen you since our brief series from 1998.

**Peter, Bean, and Teddy are in Beans Car ordering from a McDonalds.**

**Bean: Bean want Nuggets and Burger. Teddy want Bear Meal for Teddies.**

**Employee: (on speaker) Anything else?**

**Peter: Yeah I want a Triple Double Bonzai Burger. Hold the onions. With jalapenos, cabbage, bacon, an egg, syrup, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, cherry, blue berry, deep fried burger, honey mustard, BBQ sauce, ketchup, deep fried pickle, lettuce, fried cheese, diced tomato, pineapple, ham, turkey, smoked ham, and burnt cupcake.**

(Stewie walks in.)

Stewie: (grabbing Teddy) thank you.

(Bean begins wrestling Stewie. Throws him out a window, Wrestles him into a sewer, throws him into an army Antique shop, and continuously they attack each other til Stewie surrenders and gives back Teddy.)

(Cuts to Peter's office at the brewery. Angela walks in.)

Angela: Peter I think I should lay you off.

(When Peter hears this he throws Angela out the window and she lands in the street where a 16 axle truck kills her.)

Stan: Oh my god you killed Angela!

Kyle: You fucking son of a bitch and a bastard!

(Mr. Pewterschmidt walks in.)

Carter: they're right you bastard!

Peter: That's it I have had enough of you fuckin dildo!

(Peter throws Carter out the window and a dodge caravan runs over him.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: flashbacks are stillllllllll in bold. ****LIKE THIS**

(Peter is at his mom's house talking to his mom)

Thelma: YOU WHAT!?!

Peter: I killed my supervisor and Lois's dad.

Thelma: Peter I was going to marry him.

Peter: Well you can marry him………. IN HELL! (Shoots her in the heart with a gun).

Stan: OMG you killed……….. (Peter shoots him and Kyle).

(Cuts to Bean (not actually) sleeping on the couch with Teddy. Stewie screams like a ninja and pushes him off the couch. They roll out of the house, into a sewer, reappearing next to Goldman's pharmacy fighting a'la Peter and Ernie the chicken, crashing through the window, hitting Mr. Goldman into a freezer, and then Mr. Bean knocks Stewie out with a tire.)

(Cuts to the Griffin's (and Bean) at Carter's funeral)

Peter: Man I haven't Been sad like this since Walt Disney died.

**(Shows Peter as a boy watching TV.)**

**Guy on TV: in other news Walt Disney has died.**

**(Peter begins crying. Francis comes in. But before he says anything Peter trips him.)**

(At the after party Bean and Stewie are at it again. BUUUUUUUUT! Bean throws Stewie through the window.)

Peter: Bean what's with………….

(a portal Opens and Sabine and Stephan fall through.)

Bean: Sabine!?!

END OF ACT ONE.

BUT COMEBACK IF YOU DARE NEXT ACT!


	4. Chapter 4

WELCOME TO ACT II

Note: flashbacks are in bold

Sabine: (in French) Bean why're you here?

Bean: visit Peter.

Peter: this is worst than Scrubs. Right Garfield?

(Cuts down to Peter's feet where Garfield is.)

Garfield: Right Peter. Oh just one question. When are we eating?

(Cuts to Stewie sitting at a deserted table with Rupert)

Stewie: What I would give to have that teddy bear of Bean's.

Rupert:

Stewie: You think?

(Cuts to later Stewie and Bean are tearing up Quahog with their 4th battle. Stewie finally gives up and walks home. Cuts to Peter standing in the front room.)

Peter: that stunk more than Meg's parody of Harry Potter.

(Shows puppets of Ron and Harry hitting Snape)

H&R: (continuously) Bother Bother Bother Bother Bother Bother.

(Shows Stewie standing in a time machine with Rupert.)

Stewie: (getting out) HA HA! (Pushes himself out the window)

Past Stewie: What the deuce was that for?

Stewie: to keep you from stealing that… (Gets time vaporized and returns to the present) CRAP! OK Rupert got any plans.

Rupert:

Stewie: Oh Rupert. THAT'S GENIUS!

Peter: we'll be back after these messages.

(Commercials show)

Peter: back to Family Guy.

(Peter's watching TV. Meg walks in with a fat stomach.)

Meg: Dad I'm pregnant.

Peter: What?!?

Meg: and my water broke.

(Cuts to the Griffins, Bean and Kevin Swanson in a hospital room admiring Meg's baby.)

Meg: Kevin? Honey what should we name her?

Kevin: How about Bonnie after my mom.

Meg: Bonnie Lois "Swanson Griffin Pewterschmidt" Swanson.

Kevin: I like it.

Peter: This is greater than Meg's birth.

**Doctor holds Baby Meg.**

**Doctor: it's a girl.**

**Pans over to Peter holding boys stuff.**

**Peter: couldja check again?**

(Peter is watching Mr. Bean's Holiday with Bean.)

Man on TV: Cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne!

Peter: I get it. You were going to the Cannes.

(Stewie pushes Bean out the window. They fight down the street, they crash through the high school knocking over students, they pushes James Woods into a giant blender, they fall off a waterfall to unknown, and possibly the end. Cuts to Peter watching TV. Bean and Stewie walk in and Pass out.)

Peter: penis. (Laughs)

(Cuts to Bean getting in his car with Stephan, Sabine, and Teddy. He drives through the portal.)

Peter: I wonder what's next.

(Shows Bean and Sabine getting married.)

Brian: (watching wedding on TV) Yeah they put me at the end. Hopefully Funnyman Tim Johnson will write a story with more parts for me.

Fin

Directed by Mel Smith, Richard Curtis, Peter Shin, Pete Michels, Dan Povenmire, and Steve Bendelack

Cast

Seth MacFarlane Peter, Stewie, Brian, Carter, & Kevin

Alex Borstein Lois

Seth Green Chris

Mila Kunis Meg

Trey Parker Stan

Matt Stone Kyle

Phyllis Diller Thelma

Carrie Fisher Angela

Rowan Atkinson Bean

Emma DeCaunes Sabine

Frank Welker Garfield

Rachel MacFarlane Meg's Baby

Produced by Kara Vallow, Billiam Coronel, Peter Bennet-Jones, Tim Bevan, and Eric Fellner

Co produced by Steve Callaghan, Alex Borstein, Mike Henry, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Kirker Butler, Chris Sheridan, Caroline Hewitt, Debra Hayward, and Liza Chasin

Exec. Producers Seth MacFarlane, David A. Goodman, Richard Curtis, and Simon McBurney

Co. Exec. Producers Steve Callaghan, Danny Smith, David A. Goodman, and Mark Hentemann

Consulting Producers Tom Devaney, David Hemingson, and Richard Rosenstock

Music by Walter Murphy

Score by Howard Goodall

Edited by Mike Elias

Casting Linda Lamontagne

Production Manager Brandi Young

Assistant Director Joseph Lee, and Penny Zombolas

Color design Cynthia McIntosh, Michael Kinkade, and Kevin Hanley

Storyboards by Julie Forte and Andre Kolpin

Supervising Sound Editor Bob Newlan

Sound Editor Bob Newlan, and Michael Babcock

Re-Recording Engineer Bill Henderson

Sound Mixer Patrick S. Clark

Adr mixers Stephen Fitzmaurice, and Shawn Ian Kerkhoff

Foley editor Helen Luttrell

Overseas Animation Yeson Studios

Overseas Supervisor Doug Williams, Peter R. Brown, and Sheldon Arnst

Character Design Ken Hayashi

Background Design Nick Dubois

Music Editor Stan Jones

Prop Designs Andrew Burrell

Layouts Dusty Wakefield and Spencer Laudiero

Animatic Editor Mark Barrios, and Sean Isroelit

Backgrounds Jeff Mertz and Craig Kelly

Animators Radslav Bakalov, Crystal Chesney, and Matt Williames

Animatic Scanner Alissa Kueker

Background Supervisor Christopher Holt


End file.
